11 reasons men today suck.

Before I start off this list, I want to remind everyone that I feel every bit as passionately about the shittiness of both genders in modern American society. I actually gave the 'ladies' a break when I did their list, as I couldn't quell my passion enough to spell, much less write well. I would also like to take the opportunity to state that if more than one of these things applies to a 'man', he isn't really a man, he is a boy-child with a grown penis.

11: Being pretty has a place in our lives now, and that's fine, but it should NEVER take precedent over function. e.g. The other day I stopped to help an aging woman get a couch up to her apartment. A passing 'man' refused to help because, "Dude, I just got my chest waxed and my shirt is new." Great, your as pretty as the women who won't fuck you because your a useless douche. Real manly.

10: The idea that having male genitals make one a 'man'. Nope. Hair, muscles, penis, even smarts alone don't make an overgrown boy a man. Men are made by what they do and how they act, as are women. Once those criterion are met, then we separate the men and women based on nuts and lips.

9: Earnings do not equal masculine worth. Gold digging women try to impose this standard all the time, and it degrades their worth when they do. As men we do this to ourselves and each other sevenfold. Bringing in a paycheck, no matter how large or small has very little to do with the measure of a man. Even if you have mouths to feed it is a byproduct of being a man, not a requirement or precursor.

8: Expecting women to bear the responsibilities. 100 years ago a man would have been ashamed to admit that he handed money over to his wife and burdened her with the responsibility of getting things done. These days, men will fork over everything they possibly can in terms of doing. It's peter pan syndrome at its worst. "No need to be independent and do my own fucking laundry like a grown ass man, I can exploit my wife to do it. I'm a fat hairy dependent child!"

7: Blaming their penis for their shortcomings. Again, in times of yore a man would've sooner removed his penis than blamed his frailty on it. Saying one cannot do something because they are male is pathetic. Prior to the advent of the modern American male, the presence of a penis was grounds to refute the impossible, it was a denial of the limitations of mortal men. So saying, "I can't help it, I'm a man!", then your anything but a man. The two words that go together least are 'only' and 'man'. A penis says, "I should not allow these shortcomings to exist in me, my mere presence makes any failure unacceptable."

6: Believing that intelligence is incompatible with manliness. Seriously meat-heads, listen up. The #1 marked characteristic delineating men from boys, until the recent upturn in anti-male feminist politics, was intelligence, followed closely by culture, kindness and education, with 'hard workin' being a distant fifth. Men are smart, and should be. When I see men going to deliberate lengths to avoid seeming like they have a brain, I am overcome with the urge to beat them down and castrate them, for at that point they are acting like the worst imaginable stereotype of an ape. Men don't think, men do. Horsecrap. Everything we enjoy in the world, from swords and guns, to T.V. and beer are the result of men thinking. Once they have done the thinking douchebag morons are put to work doing the laborious parts, before more smart men do teh proper doing.

5: The belief that feelings, or the regulation thereof, are incompatible with being a man. Men have feelings. Not tending to them weakens a man, makes him subject to acting like an ass and being run by forces of which he is not aware. On the opposite end of the spectrum anti-masculinity forces have led some men to believe that they should spew every little feeling, talk incessantly about their emotion, impose them on others, and never regulate them. Seriously guys on both sides...There is a real need to express feelings, in an appropriate time and place, with the right people.

4: Competing with other men to an excess. Men compete as do women. It's a little more intense with us though isn't it? When it turns into petty constant competitiveness it becomes an issue. Men seem to no longer be willing to compete at co-operative matters, such as seeing who can do more to solve a mutual problem. A group of bros divided is a bunch of unproductive fucktards.

3: A near total lack of moderation and self discipline. Men were once defined by their ability to take the middle ground, to moderate themselves. Men no longer play a half hour of video games, fuck no, they widow their wives with wow. They go out on benders every weekend. They lift weights until their hearts pop like a water balloon and smoke 3 packs a day. Men, as apposed to little boys, should have enough self discipline to know when to take a little and not overindulge. It's sooo pathetic.

2: Defining ourselves by our sexuality. Men have come to believe that they are only worth the number of vaginas they can poke. We have been taught that we are incapable of saying no to pussy. We pay for sexual related goods and services at a new and astounding frequency and rate. This goes back alot to #3, but is also it's own issue. We are the men we are, regardless of whether or not we get laid. We can live with it, and we're typically better off when we do. No real man would ever endure abuse, expense, betrayal, degradation or even minor irritation for a blowjob. I literally know 'men' that have accepted sexual favors as penance for acts of severe violence. Grow up, and stop letting your dick rule your life. She speaks to you like a dog, don't lower yourself by allowing a petty physical urge to get the better of you, hold her responsible.

1: Not being selfless. Men sacrifice, they are incapable of getting even a tiny bit more from the people who they care about than they give. Pure and simple, real men are selfless, children are selfish. This is what drives the independence of men, the need to give, the desire to not force other people to put forth effort on your behalf. Men who are selfish, who are not willing to give, not willing to put forth an effort and sacrifice by doing for themselves are not men. They are burdens to everyone around them. Men once commanded respect, not because others had to, but because they were compelled to do so. Because it was known that a man would give anything, laying down life, limb and sanity for those he loved. These days, it's hard to get some fuckers to take their hands out of their pants and put down the remote. Selfish men are just pathetic, and don't deserve the air they breath.