How to make your mother, wife, girlfriend or sister happy.

The first thing to do is buy the rope, the gun, the poison or the gasoline.
How will this make my mother happy? The answer is simple. Women have become universally female supremacists, taking away the last veil of excuse as to whether or not any of the women mentioned in the title would desperate love to see their son, husband or brother dead.  I will interlace famous feminist quotes to further prove this point and help make sure you remain strong until the trigger is pulled. You can also note that while these quotes exist, there aren't many (if any) quotes to the contrary.

"Patriarchy requires violence or the subliminal threat of violence in order to maintain itself... The most dangerous situation for a woman is not an unknown man in the street, or even the enemy in wartime, but a husband or lover in the isolation of their home." Gloria Steinem

The unfortunate fact is that men evolved to protect. To protect women, to protect children. Any man alive can you that the urge to provide and protect is as innate as sex. For a women the prospect of a dead male appeals to the one true urge that any woman actually has, procurement.

Women evolved with one thing on their mind. Getting food and shiny things for themselves. While a man witnessing a woman die is more painful than just about anything, a woman watching a man die (even her son or husband) is actually exciting for them.


Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman," Andrea Dworkin,
Imagine a primordial woman. She has a child and her mate has brought her many furs and much meat. If another male comes and kills him what does she get? She gets to keep all of the resources her now dead husband had brought home. She gets an upgraded protector, his sole value being his willingness to die for her after giving her more offspring. Moreover she gets more resources from the new mate, until of course he dies on her behalf. Thus, when a woman sees her husband die it signals alot of great things for her, including new sexual stimulation.

On to sons. Once this new corpse to be has arrived in scene there is the chance that there will be conflict with the womans existing male children. If they die, it means more food in her mouth, less haring of resources and more energy for her new mate to procure goods for her.

 Any male in the modern world needs only look around him to see that his existence is meaningless. Men and boys die at war because women are too precious, and it is amusing when men lose their lives. Any man that thinks about how little women care about his needs, how it is never about him or how often women laud the uselessness of male gender will see how wrong it is for him to be alive.

"All men are rapists and that's all they are." Marilyn French
So this is for any man who has ever thought of taking his own life because of this relationships with his mother or girlfriend, but backed off for fear that it might cause them distress. Rest easy gentlemen, your suicide will be viewed with pleasure by every woman you have ever met. The lucky gal who finds your corpse is likely to have an orgasm measured on a Richter Scale. So go ahead. Decide which woman is 'closest' to you and kill yourself either in front of her, or where she can find your corpse. You will be doing her a favor.

Of course women will deny it. Not doing so might make them look less than perfect. And we all know that it's men who deserve to die, not women, because women are perfect.

Most of you who read this already know it is true. Neither your girlfriend or your mother loves you, and they would prefer it if you died. If your not convinced, just study their behavior, turn on the television or ask them how they feel about men.Once you've cemented your understanding of the truth, which is that women hate men and want them to die here are some practical tips to help you provide the best possible suicide for your mom or girlfriend.


Just hanging yourself may not be enough. If that is your plan I suggest soaking a pair of pants in kerosene or gasoline before hand. Get on your chair, put the rope around your neck and then light them. Once you're on fire the natural kicking motion will dislodge the chair. The flames sweeping upward shouldn't burn down the house, just burn up your lower body and make your death quicker.

If you plan to use poison, make sure you do it well.

 Here is a link to some of the more effective ones.
http://www.drugsandpoisons.com/2008/09/suicide-dos-and-donts-seven-drugs.html

Again, don't burden these beautiful women with an invalid, grace them with a dead body. If you plan to go this way, make sure to leave your lifeless body someplace where she can find it readily. Thus if you off yourself in the garage, dress up for her, leave a nice note apologizing for begin born male and inferior and lay down on the hood of the car.

For the majority of men to die in a genocide against their species (or gender, if you want to be polite) would be to relieve society of many if not most of its major burdens, and allow for a truly efficient society. 

So get to it boys. This is someones girlfriend or mother saying this. Your mom and your girl aren't arguing with her or the MILLIONS of women who hold this belief. A survey from the same site (who refuses to be named) has 37% of women saying that most or all men deserve to die at birth. This 1/3 of all women. So, if you know 3 women, one of them wants you to kill yourself, and two of them are lying through their teeth. Another survey done, who's author threatened to sue me actually found that in an anonymous survey 72% of mothers have thought about murdering their sons, and 94% of wives have.

Especially if that closest women is your wife, and you're planning on using a gun, make the bed up nice, spread some rose petals around, dress up in a suit and put that gun in your mouth. No need to leave a not in this case. The blood and brains on the bed will be romantic enough. Why do it here in the bed? She will have much better orgasms in that bed remembering the image of your corpse laying there.

 Alan M. Dershowitz found that


"..for all spousal murders, women accounted for more than 40 percent of defendants." 


So there is a pretty clear case that your wife or mother would much rather hear about your life ending than what happened during your day.


So if it's been on your mind, stop thinking about it and give them what they want.